Saturday Afternoon

My PT says that my doctor will be pleased when he sees me on Monday, and should take me out of the brace, and I hope so! It's really become a nuisance, sliding down my leg as I try to even out my walking gait. We worked on my gait a little bit today, trying to get me used to using the right leg normally again. Part of it now is just that I'm conditioned to favor it and put more weight on my left side, and I need to learn to trust it.

I was happy to see how well I seemed to be doing on the exercise bike, my whole 8 minutes on there... I remember my first time on the bike at 4 minutes and I could barely make the pedals move, and even then my left foot was doing all the work. I had to sit far back and could barely reach the pedals, and I had to take my shoe off to give my ankle enough flex. Now I'm pedaling away with shoes on and pressure on both legs.

They've added a pound of weight to my leg when I do leg lifts. Boy, does that make it harder. At the same time, it's great to feel the results of the PT, and to be able to do more and more things, even simple things like rest my foot on the rung of our kitchen stool as I type this.

I went to the grocery store with Chris today! That was another simple thing that I haven't done in weeks. Of course, he might have been just as happy to do it alone, but he was gracious to bring me along, and it felt good to do even a small errand. I haven't done anything except work, sleep and PT for three weeks now.

And I have to say a word or two about how wonderful Chris has been during all of this, taking on job of chauffeur, cook, maid, home health aide and handyman. I couldn't have gotten this far in my recovery without his being so supportive, driving me so many places (esp the first two weeks), doing all the dinners and cleanup, cleaning the house, and doing so many other things. That allowed me to just focus on my PT and job.

Well, and also focus on a few TV shows. I have become addicted now to "Property Ladder." The renovation process itself isn't as interesting as the remarkable lack of thought and planning most people put into it, and the complete lack of self-awareness of how they affect the other people in the process. As a potential management / team training tool, it's priceless.

Speaking of lack of thought, planning, self-awareness, etc., I have too much stuff sitting around, and have bought a magazine on getting organized. "205 ways to make your life easier." "Clutter conquered in every room of the house." But I might have to take a nap first...

3 Weeks after Surgery, 1 week after football

Even though it's great to have a 3-day weekend, I've found myself in a bit of a funk. No more football... We enjoyed going to the ProBowl last week here in Hawaii! It was fun to get to see so many players from all the teams at once. All the team mascots were there, doing what mascots do to each other, and I had a good time making fun of the cheerleaders sent from each team. No word on their selection criteria...

"don't they realize they're a joke?" I said to Chris. "They're not a joke," he insisted. "Every man here is glad to watch them. Just wonder where they get those go-g0 boots."

Somehow I don't think his focus was on the go-go boots... A woman spilled some beer on my head passing it to her husband. That was annoying, but a minor blip. It was definitely one of those games where people were soaking up the atmosphere (and the beer) more than the plays themselves.

The ProBowl next year will be played the week before the SuperBowl in Miami, where the SB is being held. But that's brought a lot of backlash from the players, who see Hawaii as a reward. So the NFL is in negotiations with Hawaii to bring the ProBowl back here for 2011 or 2012.

I'm still in the knee brace, but called the doc on Friday to see if I could unlock it for walking, and he said "yes," so I'm feeling more mobile. No more "FrankenEva" when I move around. At slow speeds, I almost look normal... It still hurts more than I expected it would at this point, but it does get better every day. I see the doctor a week from today and am hoping I will be out of the brace then, or at least can sleep without it.

Other than that, just enjoying the end of the Hawaiian winter and rainy season. We haven't had a lot of rain in February. It's nice and cool in the mornings when we wake up. I'm looking forward to getting our warmer weather back so I can really start to enjoy the pool!

Two weeks after surgery...

It was a rough week trying to juggle work, physical therapy appointments, other doctor appointments, and fit in 6 hours at home on the knee machine each day.  The knee machine time kinda went by the wayside.  I haven't made 6 hrs since Sunday.  But I seemed to be doing well at PT today, and I was completely comfortable in the knee machine at the highest angle today.  

Boy, will I be glad to see that thing go.  I also read an article on the internet that said those machines are a source of debate as to how effective they are.  After 6 weeks, they tested two groups of people, one who had used the machine and one who hadn't, and they were at the same level.  Said their main value was psychological, that it made the patients feel like they were doing something positive and constructive towards their healing.  

But I told myself not to second guess my doctor.  That was one article; he's had experience with lots of patients and seemed sold on the value of this thing.

I got really tired this week.  Couldn't even make it into work on Friday - pretty much slept the whole morning.  But I'm looking forward to the Pro Bowl tomorrow!  When I'm not having anxiety attacks over how much things are piling up at work...

I drove myself to my PT appointment and back (abt 5 min each way) this morning and it felt fine.  So I plan to start driving to work on Monday, which is abt 15 min each way.  I'm still wearing the brace, but it has a hinge, so I can get pretty comfortable with driving.  I wouldn't want to be caught in heavy traffic yet.  

I still have to walk with the brace locked in the straight leg position, so I'm still "Franken-Eva" when I move around and I'm slow.  I don't have a lot of pain anymore - just a mildly uncomfortable pulling sensation in that knee, as the new ligament continues to stretch.  I'll take the crutch w/ me to the ProBowl tomorrow but more as a way to signal to others that I'm "special" so they can see why I'm moving slowly and don't knock me over...  And maybe other ladies will take pity on me in the restroom line...

Of course, you can never deal with just one thing at a time.  Our electric bills had been steadily climbing and really jumped last month, so we called the electric company, and they came out and told us we had a hot water leak, and our hot water heater was in overdrive trying to heat all this water.  It's taken us almost 2 weeks to get a plumber to deal with it.  One was supposed to show up Thursday afternoon, but called to reschedule for Monday.  So Chris gets to stay home and deal with that...

Our pool pump was also having problems, so we got that replaced (just waiting for the bill....).  That has been wonderful, though, because our new one, besides being energy efficient, is SO much quieter.  We can really enjoy the pool now while the pump is on.  It's soothing to look at the rippling water and we don't have to turn up the TV set over the pump!

We cleaned the house today.  Chris of course, did most of the cleaning, but I cleared out some of my junk that had been piling up on our ample kitchen counters.  It's nice to get back to (almost) normal.  I still hate how much some of the paperwork has piled up, but then I just try to think of some of those TV shows I've watched lately about people with cluttered houses and I try to compare myself to them and feel less stressed over my own mess...

Well, time for more hours in the knee machine!  

Saturday - much improved...

After Friday's unexpected pain, I was very relieved to wake up this morning to minimal discomfort and no additional swelling in my knee.  I forced myself to spend 7 hours in the knee machine today and got up to the magic number of 120!  

I broke down late afternoon and took a Percocet to help get me there, but figured that's what the doc gave me the pills for...  Don't think I'm in any danger of addiction...  In fact, I was a bit disappointed with that morphine last week!  Was looking forward to that great euphoric feeling it's supposed to give you, but I never want to see that stuff again!

And as a plus, I've had some moments without any discomfort when I was up walking around or standing, so that gives me some hope that I've turned a corner.  But I'm still having plenty of that nagging pulling sensation.  I was thinking earlier this week that pain comes in so many different varieties.  There's the sharp abrupt pointed pain like when I stubbed my toes in the bathroom this week.  If I had to give that a color, I'd paint it red.  The pain I feel would be just a dull, ugly brown.  It just wears on you.  You don't realize how much until it stops.  And oh, what a relief when it stops...

Enjoyed more daytime TV today, including two episodes of Property Ladder on The Learning Channel.  The people they featured made some really stupid decisions, but I figured in one case, the producers were salivating to get that woman on the air because she was such an incredible flake.  She wanted to spend $30K on renovations, and had this grand design in mind.  She had the sense to hire a general contractor, but when he told her that the grand design would be 40K, she got upset with him.  He suggested scaling back.  She didn't like that idea.In the end, she spent $72K, and after 4 months, still hadn't sold the house.  But she did make for compelling viewing.

Then Lifetime was having its "Love Gone Wrong" weekend, so I watched a couple of docudramas also about people who made some really bad decisions.   Now I'm sitting here watching the AKC Eukanuba dog show.  They're so beautiful!  Well, most of them.  There are still some funny-looking dogs out there.  

I also enjoy the sidebar videos on the difference dogs can make to a person's life, like a wheelchair-bound man and his Labrador assistance dog.    It showed him opening the front door for the dog to get the morning paper, and the dog looked so thrilled to pick it up off the sidewalk--just wagged his entire back end.  "Look!  I've got the paper!  Yippee!"  I try to bring some of that doggy enthusiasm to the things I do, but I'm not as cute as that Labrador.  

Superbowl tomorrow!

  

knee fears and other breakdowns...

I was in so much discomfort today and not managing my pain well.  I was trying not to take the Percocet anymore, but extra-strength tylenol just does absolutely nothing for me, and the doc doesn't want me to take ibuprofen due to its anti-inflammatory effects.  So I just tried to brave it out and by the time I got to the physical therapist was pretty close to tears and trying not to show it.

After torturing me in various ways, they put me on the stationary bike today for 4 minutes.  Four whole minutes!  It was so uncomfortable at first.  I whimpered a bit, thinking of my long bike rides in Germany, Australia, and Yorkshire, and how I could hardly push the pedal!  But I told myself to stop being silly, that before I knew it, I would be riding again, that I was progressing well, etc.  Then I heard BelleRuth's voice (star of healthjourneys.com and guided imagery) telling me there are times I will feel fearful, angry or sad, and I need to acknowledge that as my truth of the moment.  When I acknowledge my emotions, I allow myself to heal.  No denial with BelleRuth.  

So that's been my truth most of today's moments--in pain and sad over all the discomfort.  

This evening, sometime in hour 3-4 on the knee machine, my knee really started to hurt in weird ways that it hadn't before.  So I dialed the angle back a bit and soon just quit the machine all together.  The doc has emphasized how critical this machine is to my recovery, to regaining a fully functional knee, and part of me hated to stop for that reason!  But he's also told me to do what I can tolerate.  After toughing it out for several cycles, I decided that maybe I should just honor this unusual pain for the evening and try it again tomorrow.  So I've been just letting the ice bag sit on the knee and have turned off the motion machine.

I did a lot today. It was my first full day off the crutches.  I took a shower, which is a bit of an ordeal (just my 2nd one since the operation).  I walked up and down the street for 10 minutes.     I had an hour of physical therapy with several new activities.  I walked another 5-10 minutes around the shopping center (got a Mocha Frap light as my after-PT treat).   And I'd done 3 hours successfully before that pain kicked in.  So I'm hoping it was just my new ligament's way of saying, "uh, enough for today, hon."  

And, since then, when I've been standing up and walking around, I haven't had the pain I'd experienced earlier in the day!  So perhaps it was a bit of a breakthrough in a positive way.  

Tomorrow will tell.  For now, I'll just try to enjoy "The Unsellables" on HGTV as Sophie tells these property owners the obvious - repair and clean up the place if you want to sell your house!  

Knee Machine

This is the knee machine.  The foot goes in the upright part and then you drape the rest of your leg down the middle of the gray fleecy stuff.  You use the remote control on the side to increase the angle.  It slides up and down the dark track in the middle

The dark blue blob on top is a fancy ice pack, and the blue/white thermos in the background is a container of ice and water that keeps the blue pack cold. I put the ice pack on top of my knee as it goes up and down in this machine.

I'm supposed to do 6 hrs a day, 2hrs on, 2 hrs off, but it actually hurts my back (lying on it) more than my knee.  I know this is critical to my recovery, but can't wait to be done with it..... 

I've started wiggling my good leg around in the air, crossing it over the bad leg, anything I can think of to move my back a bit, including "butt lifts."  Anything to give those back muscles something else to do.

Off the crutches!

Had my follow-up visit with doc yesterday and I am off the crutches!  I was going to compose a column on crutching techniques but will dispense with that now!  I am starting to take short therapeutic walks (5-10 min) in the neighborhood and am taking one crutch with me on those to help me feel more stable, but when I walk around the house, they're history.

I'm also out of the Ace bandage and just have surgical tape on the incisions in my knees.  A nurse re-glued me and taped me up at the doc's yesterday.  So no stitches or staples - just surgical glue...  My knee looks a little swollen, but looks like a knee and not a grapefruit.  

I'm having trouble bringing in multiple pictures so will just do this one for now.  

Thought I would close by telling y'all about some of the nifty new daytime shows I've discovered.  There's "Clean House" on the Style channel, where people with AMAZINGLY full houses of junk have the "Clean House" staff come in and get rid of all their stuff and get their space into something they can actually live in.  I thought it might help me get more organized but the last time I was this bad was in college.  I'm a neat freak compared to these people...

I've also been watching the Dog Whisperer a lot and Cash Cab.  My favorite missed question on Cash Cab so far - what island used in nuclear testing in the 50's gave its name to a piece of summer clothing?  The contestant's answer - Bermuda, in Bermuda shorts.  Yeah, there was a lot of nuclear testing on Bermuda....

And I've been a regular on the Comedy Channel and the Colbert Report.  Last night he interviewed a representative from the National Chicken Council about the shortage of wings for the Super Bowl.  I googled the NCC and the guy on the show and they both exist!  I even sent him a short e-mail and he replied that he preferred answering questions about chicken wings over questions about bird flu....